Matthew 13:44-46, 17th Sunday in Ordinary Time

When I was small, I once wanted a bicycle so much I hounded my parents for it. Understandably my parents did not grant my dearest wish right away, not wanting perhaps to spoil me, perhaps also out of concern for safety. Anyhow, finally, my father told me, if you really want this bicycle, would you be willing to forego summer vacation for it?

 I thought long of going places and warm beaches, and after weighing all these in my young mind, I told him, yes, I really want this bicycle, and I am willing to stay home and exchange summer fun for it.

 Long story short: I got the bicycle, albeit a second-hand one, with a flat tire. My father taught me how to take it apart, sandpaper the rust out of it, grease the chain, and patch the flat tire. When I finally got it to run, the summer beach was farthest from my mind.

 Today the Lord asks us about our heart’s one true desire and the price we are willing to pay for it. In praying, St Ignatius Loyolacounsels us to preface every prayer with the id quod volo, “that which I desire”, the gift or grace I seek. Given how we are pushed and pulled by all sorts of desires, what we truly desire is not always evident.

 One thing about desires is that behind every desire is another desire. Beneath every value, another value. Why do I want a bicycle? I want to go places. Why? I want to explore new sightsand get new experiences. Why? I want to be free. Why? I want to be happy. 

 The other thing about desires is that they are bottomless. We suppose that we will be happy at last once we get the bicycle of our dreams. Or that this cellphone or car will finally satisfy us. Until of course the next model comes around and we find ourselves tiring of the old and wanting the latest. Nothing in this world it seems will ever satisfy us. The desiring never ends.

 In the Gospel story of the priceless pearl or buried treasure, the Lord invites us to look into our every desire until we get to the one desire for which we are willing to sell everything that we have.

 As with buried treasure, today we are dared to dig deeper than what we have already found. As with gems of great value, we are asked to scour the marketplace to find that one true and priceless pearl.

 Perhaps that one desire is to be happy, which only prompts us to ask what it is that makes for true happiness. Perhaps our one desire is to be known or understood by those who matter to us, to be forgiven by those we have hurt, to be appreciated or remembered or accompanied, to be not alone, not afraid, to be at peace.

 Perhaps our singular desire is to be loved.

 In our first reading, God tells Solomon, “Ask something of me and I will give it to you.” Solomon asks only for wisdom and discernment. Wisdom to lead God’s people and discernment to know right from wrong. Without hesitation, God grants his prayer because he asks not for himself, not for a long life, not for wealth or power or even the life of his enemies.

 Knowing how our own desires intertwine with those of others, we can be wiser and more discerning about how much of our prayer is for us, and how much for others.

 In the prayer of St Francis of Assisi, we pray God to grant that we “may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.”

 For all the desires that push and pull at us, it may be that our one true desire is not so much to be loved as to love. To love as God has loved us. Perhaps this is what makes for true happiness. To be happy we need only ask not so much to be understood as to understand, not so much to be forgiven as to forgive. We pray not to be loved so much as to love.

 Even if it takes a lifetime of stumbling and searching, our Lord would rather we discover for ourselves who it is we’ve been seeking all our lives. Beneath every desire to love is no one else but God in Christ who is love. He is the pearl of great price for whom we would be more than glad and willing to forego everything.