Matthew 16:13-20, 21st Sunday in Ordinary Time

In the Gospel today, Jesus asks his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” Then, a few lines later he asks again, “But who do you say that I am?” Don’t you find two successive questions about “who I am?” a bit narcissistic? Too much calling attention to oneself? Might Jesus be narcissistic? God forbid!

I picked up this story from another priest. He said that one mark of narcissism is the propensity to direct everyone’s attention to themselves and make everything about themselves. But then, they also hit a point of realization about this excessive self-attention, and so they shift the attention to you for a moment. “Oh, I’m sorry, I know I’ve been talking a lot about myself again. Let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?”

You’re probably wondering why I am starting this homily with narcissism. I’ll attempt an explanation. One mark of narcissism is excessive self-aggrandizement, but all of that grandiose self-presentation can be coming from a place of hollow and empty sense of self or identity. It originates from an unbearable pain of not really knowing who one is and one’s true worth, thus, it can be an experience of utter powerlessness that holds a lot of shame. And one way to protect that deep wound of poor sense of self, powerlessness, and shame is to make a grandiose display the opposite – a bloated ego, power, and pride. Like an empty tin that makes the loudest sound.

One thing we learn about narcissism then is the strong link between our sense of identity and our sense of power. The Gospel today calls our attention to this link – after the passages about Jesus’ identity, we hear about the delegation of power to Peter. He is given the “keys to the kingdom of heaven” that gives him the power to bind and to loose. This echoes the story in the first reading. The Lord replaced Shebna with Eliakim to whom was entrusted “the key of the house of David” that gives him the power to open or close doors.

Divine power is entrusted in the hands of Peter, and what kind of hands? Frail and unsteady. Isn’t that a very reckless move on the part of God? Too much divine power in the hands of weak and poor mortals who are prone to narcissism – did God not set us up here to be in a total wreck? Sometimes, when I pray and reflect, I try to imagine what it would be like if I were in Jesus’ place, having entrusted by the Father with all power and authority. What will I do with all that power? I suggest you try praying and reflecting about it too. I have come up with a lot of answers.

But, in the end, it comes down to this insight for me – I’m nothing like Jesus or Peter. And thank God that I’m not God! I am just as I am, and yet the Lord, in his graciousness, has also graced me with the power of God. Not only am I created in God’s image and likeness, God also willed to make me a steward of God’s creation. And to be able to be the kind of person God desires me to become and to do the work that God entrusts in my frail, unsteady hands, God empowers me. So, how am I making use of God’s power in my hands?

The second reading today quotes a familiar passage, “For who has known the mind of the Lord or who has been his counselor?” For a while, I thought of this passage that God is so mysterious because there is always something new to discover about God. In a way, God seems to hide. But I have also come to this insight: on the contrary, God always comes out of hiding. God always reveals to us who God is. And his revelation always catches us by surprise because God’s ways are so unlike our ways if we were a god. If I were a god, would I be so reckless as to share my power with others? Isn’t that foolishness, by human standards, to risk putting power in the hands of others. Would I rather have all of that power to myself and subject everyone under my control?

But God’s ways are so different. Instead of monopolizing power, God empowers us. Instead of using all his power and might to bend us according to his will, by imposing his power on us, God hands us a share of God’s power so that we may obey, and love, and follow God, not out of coercion but out of God-given freedom. As St Augustine said, “God created us without us, but he will not save us without us.”

Let us pray that the power of God entrusted in our frail, unsteady human hands may transform us so that our use of such power may allow others to see that the gates of God’s kingdom is open for all, especially for those who count themselves as unworthy of God’s reign.

May the power of God within us heal us from our poor sense of self and self-worth and lead us to recognize that each of us is cherished and loved into being by a loving God who has made us worthy vessels of God’s power.